Am I too comfortable with God?
Am I taking advantage of His Presence in my life?
There was a time where all I did was seek God. Literally all I did. At the time I knew nothing about grace. I was not drawn to God for his unconditional love towards me. I was drawn to Him because I was in need of Him. I still need God, but it is different now. Back then I felt if I did not do the right things then He would turn His back on me. I was caught up in the acts of self righteousness. I did good and I felt loved. When I made a mistake I was not loved in my mind. So I took everything out of my life that did not reflect what I thought God did not like. I turned from my "sinful" desires and did what was "holy". But then I met Grace.
When I met Grace, I found a God that loved me not for what I did but for who I am. I am a child of God and nothing can separate me from His presence. In the process of learning of His love I fell deeper in love with God. It was not about what He was doing in my life anymore it was about what He already done. I was hungry for God's presence. I wanted my day to be filled with God speaking to me.
If I am honest I have lost touch of that desire. I take advantage of the fact that God loves me unconditionally. I know He will never leave me, so I don't have to work on my relationship with Him. I know He knows everything about me. I know He loves me, so I just do as I please. The problem is not God's love for me it is my love for Him. I say I love God yet I don't turn to Him unless I have a request. I have lost that passion to talk to God about everything. I listen not to Him but to myself. My voice has drowned out His, but I am not happy. I miss my time with God. I miss hearing Him through life experiences. I miss talking to Him. Like a college kid missing the comfort of their parents presence. I desire God. I don't want to pour out my gifts and fill empty. I want to be filled by the power of His spirit.
What I am saying is I don't want to feed on the life of others like a zombie. I want to live off the presence of God. My prayer is to wake up. Only in God are we awake. In everything I experience, I want to experience with God. I have been lost but now I am found. I was sleep, now I am awake. I was blind now I see. Speak Lord, I am listening.
Let us wake to the Presence of God and live as only we can.
Until next time...