I am thankful. I am thankful for the good days and yes I am thankful for the bad days too. God has never failed me. Though I have lost my way countless times. God has kept me. Not only has God kept me, I have thrived. How can I thrive even when I am not where I should be? It is the grace of God. God's love is not rooted on my compliance, it is rooted in the finished work of Jesus Christ. Here is the thing I am not trying to convert you to a religion. I am not trying to make you believe in a higher power. I am just sharing my experience. An experience filled with doubt and fear. The path has been dark more than light. I have felt alone more than I have felt God's presence but through it all I have discovered peace. An unexplained peace that in spite of the adversity I face, everything is alright.
You see as a writer I spend a lot of time alone. When you are alone that is when you lose connection with the world. You think things that are not true. You see things that are not true. Meaning you can perceive things that are not how they really are. Jesus was alone in the wilderness and was tempted by Satan to lose sight of who Jesus was. To question his purpose and identity. When you are alone and you have to face the person in the mirror you can begin to question if your purpose is truly your purpose. You question if you are just wasting your time and even the existence of a relationship with God. You see, you may believe in God but that does not mean you believe you have a relationship with God. When you are surrounded in darkness God does something in the midst of stillness that will cease the questions. God shows you the light within. When you see the light all ignorance fades away and all that remains is the overwhelming truth. The truth that you are purpose and more importantly you are loved by God. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. Your weaknesses don't matter. Your insecurities don't matter. Because they don't matter you don't have to own them anymore. You can give all of your being to God. Allowing God to use you. You see, when I want use my new lawnmower I don't use it right out of the box. I have to put oil in it. I have to put fuel in it and I have to set the levels to my preference. Everything I needed was in the box but I have to set it up to be properly used.
We look at our life and feel out place and purposeless. We try to make things work but we have not given our life to the One that created us. We don't know how to set ourselves we need God. When we surrender to God. God puts us in position to be used the right way and our lives line up with our purpose. Guess what? We are happy. We are relieved and we are thankful. When you see someone doing what they love, you see God's beauty. In awe, the tool and the canvas are thankful to be used.